***** I wrote half of this blog on March 3rd and wasn't able to finish it until today****
I have heard Oceans {by hillsong united} a million times. Okay, not a million but more than I can remember. From the beginning I've loved it but like all great songs, once it gets played out I tend to tune it out.
On Friday, Laura, Debbie, & Doug did a phenomenal job in singing it.
And then on Sunday after church, I agreed to go to Hillsong NYC.
Guess what song they did? Yes, Oceans.
As I was standing with thousands singing this song that I knew so well, one part of the bridge spoke to me like never before. "...take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior..."
As we were singing the first part, I couldn't help but think the immensity of those words, take me deeper than my feet could ever wander. Did I know the depth of the words I was singing? If I go deeper won't I sink?
When Peter stepped out into the waters (Matt.14) I don't think he knew what he was getting himself into. He may have acted on impulse. He had a sense that Jesus was who he said he was, but he needed to see it.
"Master, if its you, call me to come to you."
Once Jesus called him, he walked. As soon as he saw what was going on around him, instead of his Master, he began to sink.
Deep water: contains little to no light, intense pressure, and very cold temperatures. (webster dictionary)
Stepping out into deeper waters can be quiet intimidating to say the least. It is an act of total vulnerability and dependability. When we do that, we are letting go of the things we thought would keep us afloat or save us. And we are trusting in something, someONE larger than the ocean itself.
In 43 Days I will be going to Africa. A land that has been on my heart for seven years. A place that God told me seven years ago that I would go someday. And while my heart is overwhelmed with praise that God is so faithful, im also terrified.
How will I last 3 months on my own? How will I be without my car or even access to the internet? And I know that sounds like #firstworldproblems and I may seem spoiled, but I'm being truthful. The idea that i won't be able to hug my dad goodnight, have silly conversations with my mom or have my brothers around makes me want to cry. But as I heard those soft, yet powerful words, I understood what it meant to be a disciple of Christ. I understood why I'm called to carry my cross and follow Him.
The deeper I go, the more uncertainty will overwhelm me. However, the more I trust Him, the more my faith will grow. Faith is exercised when there's no other answer but Jesus. When there's no other explanation but Jesus himself. Yes, it is going to be crazy to be away from home for 3 months but I firmly believe that I will hear from God like never before. I will sense Him in every decision I make. I will cling to His word like never before as I face every struggle and joy possible.
Friends, what is God calling you to step unto faith in? Is it a relationship in your family that seems hopeless? Is it a big move that scares you? or maybe it's letting go of that guy or girl you know isn't going to be in your future?
Whatever it is, know that in that place of vulnerability there is nothing greater than holding onto the promise that he who has begun a work in you will carry it into completion. He will not leave you to fend for yourself. He will not leave you to drown or sink. He is calling you onto the deep waters so that you have nothing else to hold onto but Him. There you find complete joy, there you see that God is all that He says he is.
Thanks for reading! Pray for me! :)
Jess
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