I honestly don't know why I decided to blog again. haha well I'm back in the states after spending ten weeks in pemba, mozambique that ridiculously changed my life. being home for three months, the best way that i can explain what i learned or what touched me the most was intimacy with jesus. don't get me wrong, the mama's in the village and the children on base have made a huge impact on my life.
but, none of that matters if i don't know my savior, if i don't spend deep, intimate moments with him. (will expand on this in later posts)
people warned me that coming back would be a culture shock, but no one could've prepared me enough. man, it was hard. there were days that I would just cry. for no reason lol. and i think i'm only writing this now because it's the first time that i can share what happened to me in pemba and not break down. I put off updating my blog because i didn't want to accept that my summer in Moz was officially over. (my defense mechanism is definitely repression, see www.simplypsychology.org)
God truly opened up doors (doors that i didn't even knock on) and i've pretty much been on staff at my church as missionary in Newark since September. i can honestly say that I have my dream job. i've been able to witness young people legit turn away from sin in their life and turn to jesus, older women who have chosen to put their trust in Jesus, and restoration in the body of Christ. there are hard days. days that i feel like i'm a different person. not the same person i was in pemba that desperately longed for Christ. life happens and sometimes i let temporary things cloud my heart instead of being kingdom-minded. That's why this is the title of my post, Jesus keep me in Your will. this has been my only prayer for the last 2 weeks. the first day i prayed it, God used an amazing woman at Resting Place and pretty much confirmed that i was where i was supposed to be in this moment. There are many dreams that are in my heart and i believe in God's as well. Hopefully I'll be able to share it soon, and see it come to life.
thank you for all of those who supported me financially, emotionally, and spiritually. the body of Christ is a beautiful thing and i can't believe i get to be part of it.
will write more soon
xoxo
December 3, 2014
July 14, 2014
Baptism day!
Three people made the decision to get baptized :)
And then we had the joy of taking part of their first Santa Ceia! Our friend and bible student Vitorino also has audio bible on his phone in Portuguese and we were able to send it to them via Bluetooth.
Praise God
This was me before explaining that as we take crackers and juice we remember Christs sacrifice but we rejoice we get to spend eternity with him!
June 29, 2014
Joy
I cannot believe I've already been here for a month. It's pretty surreal.
Well anyways, today I went to the village with some of my housemates to visit Mama Ansha. She works here on base in the kitchen, so after her shift today, we walked with her to her home.
Let me rewind a bit. Earlier today, I had planned with a couple of girls to go to town where we were going to buy juice. Long story short, we couldn't go anymore and I have to admit I was a bit lived. I know it seems like no big deal, but I've been dreaming of grape juice. Anyways, it was time to go to Anshas home.
On the way we found our friend KC and he agreed to go with us (which made us feel a little safer since he's a guy and knows his way around). This woman had a heavy bag on her head and was jetting. I was carrying one of her lighter bags and could hardly keep up. As we were walking, little kids would just come out of nowhere and hug us. It took awhile to get to her home and let's just say we had to go through quite a couple of places that I am thankful KC was with us.
We got to her home and the kids automatically gave us their plastic chairs. I sat on the floor and Ansha did not let lol. She began to tell us that she has 1 son and how her daughter passed away years ago (it seemed she might have had anecephaly). There was a young girl there(I'll call her V) who was there because her mom was in the hospital because she was real sick. The little girl was covered in what seemed to be a rash and was constantly crying. Martha one of the ladies in my house immediately took action and made KC buy soap and gave the girl a shower so her fever would leave. I was in awe of Marthas initiative spirit. She told me, "you'll see when you become a mom you'll do the samething." Afterwards, V looked a lot better.
Despite the mudhut, she had a small tv in her home. She really wanted us to see her wedding video. So 5 of us sit in a cot in her kitchen/living room and watch her video. She was beaming. She was so proud of it. She got married less than a year ago to a bible student on base. The video looked like it was filmed on a really old camcorder. No editing, no effects, no soundtrack. It was amazing to see how people here are happy with things that people back home go crazy for.
After her husband got home and we said our goodbyes, they were so excited to take pictures. Everyone was smiling and just happy to have us there.
So tonight, I'm okay that I don't have juice. And I'm asking God to make me more like Ansha. To love and to choose joy daily.
June 15, 2014
Abba, I belong to You
Abba, I belong to you.
Tonight is Fathers Day and we just had a kick off prayer
service for 24/7 prayer in one of the huts. For the next week, every house will
have 2-hour shifts. As we sang
this song tonight, I couldn’t help but be reminded what a privilege it is to be
able to call the God of the Universe, Daddy. I know for a fact that my dad is
the best dad in the world and when he tells me how much he’s proud of me, I’m
overjoyed. But hearing that from the Creator is just unbelievable!
The rest of the song says, “Your thoughts define me, you’re
inside me, you’re my reality. You’re closer than the skin on my bones You’re
closer than the song on my tongue, Abba I belong to You”
WOW!
Once we allow God to be lord over every part of our lives,
he’ll take us deeper and deeper. Deeper into a love that’s more than we could
ever imagine.
Before I came to Mozambique, I did a safari in South Africa.
It was at Krueger Park which is larger than Israel! We had the most amazing
tour guy ever. He would stop and teach us everything about the wild life. The
animals there are wild, so there was a chance that wouldn’t see some of the
more exotic animals since they’re free. As we driving , one of the girls in my
jeep was saying how the animals looked so much more beautiful in the wild. How
the animals looked bigger and prettier. And our tour guide said, “when they are
in their natural habitat, they will flourish. Animals in the zoo, are not in
their natural habitat so they will look and behave differently.”
I couldn’t help but think how true that is in our lives.
When we aren’t living out the life God has called us to live (free of sin,
abundant, etc.) we sort of die. When we aren’t living the life that God has
called us live, we become like the animals we see in the zoo. They survive, but
they don’t flourish. They’re just there. Behind bars doing whatever they’re
told to do. But when we say God, I’ll do whatever you’re asking of me, no
matter the cost, we are the like animals at Krueger Park. They roam wherever
they please, they live and they thrive. When we are in the will of God, we are
who we are destined to be and there is absolutely nothing in my opinion,
better. There is nothing better than to be who we were created to be.
On this day where we honor the amazing fathers and spiritual
fathers in our lives, I hope you are reminded that you belong to Abba. That He
loves you and has amazing plans for your life. Step out in faith and you’ll
have the ride of your life.
Enjoy the pictures :)
June 8, 2014
Salama
Salama!
Today marks 9 days that I've been in Pemba. As the plane landed 9 days ago, I could not stop crying (thank God for sunglasses). I was in awe that God would see me through and actually have this opportunity. I have so much to say but I will hold off and talk about my time in the Bush outreach.
I can't say where we went because of safety/privacy issues but it was a village really remote. They have no running water, no electricity and their diet consists of what they grow (unfortunately because of the flood, many of their resources were washed away). We got there Thursday night and as we drove into their village, about 50 kids were running after the truck trying to jump in the back haha. We set up camp and went onto set up for the night service.
We did a skit (prodigal son), sang a song that our group wrote in Portuguese and Makua, watched a film on Jesus and Mama Heidi gave a word. Almost everyone came for prayer for either healing or salvation. The next day we found out that about 4 people were healed of stomach issues, 1 person was deaf and now could hear, and a teenager who wanted to stop drinking said the smell of alcohol made him sick!
That night we fed the village and all I can say is that Breakout prepared me for that lol! Kids everywhere love their food :)
The next day we all personally greeted and thanked the pastor, chief of the village and the father of the village. Heidi shared that 4 years ago they would get stoned everytime they came to the village. but my greeting the leaders, bringing them presents and having people from around the world introduce themselves, we were reversing the role of colonization. WOW! so powerful.
I went with a girl in my group to visit and pray for the people in that village. We met a Muslim woman and stayed with her all day. We brought her water and some candy. We invited her to come to the service that night, and guess what she did! It was awesome.
That night, God continued to work in mighty ways. So many young kids wanted prayer. To end their addictions, to cure their colds. wow.
I got back yesterday and first thing i did with my group is go to the beach to shower lol. We hadn't showered for days. We could not stop laughing as we were with our long skirts and shoes in the ocean, or Maka. We take so many things for granted.
Afterwards, my roommates wanted to take me to eat. As we were walking, i saw a little boy guiding a blind man. I thought to myself, oh he's blind, thats so sad but nice that the boy is with him. And then as we passed the man he said "Boa Noite!" We went to speak to him and he was asking if we were missionaries from Iris and if we would be at church on Sunday. We said yes, and kept talking to him. A few minutes later, he asked if we could pray for his sight. We did and he was beyond thankful! He then prayed and blessed us beautifully!
I couldn't help but think, this man has probably received so many prayers for healing and he still hasnt seen. But he still loves his God, still worships Him, and still rejoices in Him. What faith!!! Once again, God ripped me and told me not to be afraid of praying and seeing the miracle right there. Just being able to pray for someone is such a privilege and honor. And we don't always see all that God is doing, but we are called to believe.
Matthew 21:22 "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
** I will get my phone back on Wednesday. :)
** Still no running water in our home but after being in the bush, it aint that bad. I'm about to get muscles walking up the hill with a bucket every day :)
Thank you everyone for the sweet emails.
Mulucko Orereheni! (God Bless you)
Today marks 9 days that I've been in Pemba. As the plane landed 9 days ago, I could not stop crying (thank God for sunglasses). I was in awe that God would see me through and actually have this opportunity. I have so much to say but I will hold off and talk about my time in the Bush outreach.
I can't say where we went because of safety/privacy issues but it was a village really remote. They have no running water, no electricity and their diet consists of what they grow (unfortunately because of the flood, many of their resources were washed away). We got there Thursday night and as we drove into their village, about 50 kids were running after the truck trying to jump in the back haha. We set up camp and went onto set up for the night service.
We did a skit (prodigal son), sang a song that our group wrote in Portuguese and Makua, watched a film on Jesus and Mama Heidi gave a word. Almost everyone came for prayer for either healing or salvation. The next day we found out that about 4 people were healed of stomach issues, 1 person was deaf and now could hear, and a teenager who wanted to stop drinking said the smell of alcohol made him sick!
That night we fed the village and all I can say is that Breakout prepared me for that lol! Kids everywhere love their food :)
The next day we all personally greeted and thanked the pastor, chief of the village and the father of the village. Heidi shared that 4 years ago they would get stoned everytime they came to the village. but my greeting the leaders, bringing them presents and having people from around the world introduce themselves, we were reversing the role of colonization. WOW! so powerful.
I went with a girl in my group to visit and pray for the people in that village. We met a Muslim woman and stayed with her all day. We brought her water and some candy. We invited her to come to the service that night, and guess what she did! It was awesome.
That night, God continued to work in mighty ways. So many young kids wanted prayer. To end their addictions, to cure their colds. wow.
I got back yesterday and first thing i did with my group is go to the beach to shower lol. We hadn't showered for days. We could not stop laughing as we were with our long skirts and shoes in the ocean, or Maka. We take so many things for granted.
Afterwards, my roommates wanted to take me to eat. As we were walking, i saw a little boy guiding a blind man. I thought to myself, oh he's blind, thats so sad but nice that the boy is with him. And then as we passed the man he said "Boa Noite!" We went to speak to him and he was asking if we were missionaries from Iris and if we would be at church on Sunday. We said yes, and kept talking to him. A few minutes later, he asked if we could pray for his sight. We did and he was beyond thankful! He then prayed and blessed us beautifully!
I couldn't help but think, this man has probably received so many prayers for healing and he still hasnt seen. But he still loves his God, still worships Him, and still rejoices in Him. What faith!!! Once again, God ripped me and told me not to be afraid of praying and seeing the miracle right there. Just being able to pray for someone is such a privilege and honor. And we don't always see all that God is doing, but we are called to believe.
Matthew 21:22 "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
** I will get my phone back on Wednesday. :)
** Still no running water in our home but after being in the bush, it aint that bad. I'm about to get muscles walking up the hill with a bucket every day :)
Thank you everyone for the sweet emails.
Mulucko Orereheni! (God Bless you)
May 27, 2014
A couple of miles away from the sky :)
Greetings from South Africa!
Oh my gosh, it's so surreal saying that!
As I got on the plane, for a split second I wondered if I could still get out of the plane. Ha! It sorted hit me that moment that I would be gone for a little under 3 months and I panicked a bit.
But then i was reminded why I decided to even do this. And it was because of the dream and desire God put on my heart years ago and which he kept fueling.
Every time I would start "forgetting" or would think of planning my life in a different way, he would radically remind me of "the call". It's as if He would physically touch my heart and I once again would be overwhelmed with this dream and nothing else would satisfy my soul. Nothing else felt quite like home as this dream felt. And to be honest, I wish I knew how to explain that better but i can't.
Many people have been seen amazing things about me and admiring me taking this step, but I just ask that you be in awe of how faithful God is. I can't help but go. It's not because I'm this amazing person (ok maybe a little haha kidding!)
But it's because when Christ touches you, nothing else matters. Nothing comes close than being where God has called you to be. I know I will face many challenges but I am so ready.
"To live for Christ to die is gain"
This song pretty much sums up what's in my heart. God bless and please keep me in your prayers!
the cost_rend collective
I'm saying yes to you
And no to my desires
I'll leave my self behind and follow you
I'll walk the narrow road
Cause it leads me to you
I'll fall but grace will pick me up again
I've counted up the cost
Oh, I've counted up the cost
Yes, I've counted up the cost
And you are worth it
I do not need safety
As much as I need you
You're dangerous
But Lord you're beautiful
I'll chase you through the pain
I'll carry my cross
Cause real love is not afraid to bleed
Jesus take my yoke
Take my everything
I've counted up the cost
And you're worth everything
April 12, 2014
{Beauty in the Unknown}
***** I wrote half of this blog on March 3rd and wasn't able to finish it until today****
I have heard Oceans {by hillsong united} a million times. Okay, not a million but more than I can remember. From the beginning I've loved it but like all great songs, once it gets played out I tend to tune it out.
On Friday, Laura, Debbie, & Doug did a phenomenal job in singing it.
And then on Sunday after church, I agreed to go to Hillsong NYC.
Guess what song they did? Yes, Oceans.
As I was standing with thousands singing this song that I knew so well, one part of the bridge spoke to me like never before. "...take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior..."
As we were singing the first part, I couldn't help but think the immensity of those words, take me deeper than my feet could ever wander. Did I know the depth of the words I was singing? If I go deeper won't I sink?
When Peter stepped out into the waters (Matt.14) I don't think he knew what he was getting himself into. He may have acted on impulse. He had a sense that Jesus was who he said he was, but he needed to see it.
"Master, if its you, call me to come to you."
Once Jesus called him, he walked. As soon as he saw what was going on around him, instead of his Master, he began to sink.
Deep water: contains little to no light, intense pressure, and very cold temperatures. (webster dictionary)
Stepping out into deeper waters can be quiet intimidating to say the least. It is an act of total vulnerability and dependability. When we do that, we are letting go of the things we thought would keep us afloat or save us. And we are trusting in something, someONE larger than the ocean itself.
In 43 Days I will be going to Africa. A land that has been on my heart for seven years. A place that God told me seven years ago that I would go someday. And while my heart is overwhelmed with praise that God is so faithful, im also terrified.
How will I last 3 months on my own? How will I be without my car or even access to the internet? And I know that sounds like #firstworldproblems and I may seem spoiled, but I'm being truthful. The idea that i won't be able to hug my dad goodnight, have silly conversations with my mom or have my brothers around makes me want to cry. But as I heard those soft, yet powerful words, I understood what it meant to be a disciple of Christ. I understood why I'm called to carry my cross and follow Him.
The deeper I go, the more uncertainty will overwhelm me. However, the more I trust Him, the more my faith will grow. Faith is exercised when there's no other answer but Jesus. When there's no other explanation but Jesus himself. Yes, it is going to be crazy to be away from home for 3 months but I firmly believe that I will hear from God like never before. I will sense Him in every decision I make. I will cling to His word like never before as I face every struggle and joy possible.
Friends, what is God calling you to step unto faith in? Is it a relationship in your family that seems hopeless? Is it a big move that scares you? or maybe it's letting go of that guy or girl you know isn't going to be in your future?
Whatever it is, know that in that place of vulnerability there is nothing greater than holding onto the promise that he who has begun a work in you will carry it into completion. He will not leave you to fend for yourself. He will not leave you to drown or sink. He is calling you onto the deep waters so that you have nothing else to hold onto but Him. There you find complete joy, there you see that God is all that He says he is.
Thanks for reading! Pray for me! :)
Jess
I have heard Oceans {by hillsong united} a million times. Okay, not a million but more than I can remember. From the beginning I've loved it but like all great songs, once it gets played out I tend to tune it out.
On Friday, Laura, Debbie, & Doug did a phenomenal job in singing it.
And then on Sunday after church, I agreed to go to Hillsong NYC.
Guess what song they did? Yes, Oceans.
As I was standing with thousands singing this song that I knew so well, one part of the bridge spoke to me like never before. "...take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior..."
As we were singing the first part, I couldn't help but think the immensity of those words, take me deeper than my feet could ever wander. Did I know the depth of the words I was singing? If I go deeper won't I sink?
When Peter stepped out into the waters (Matt.14) I don't think he knew what he was getting himself into. He may have acted on impulse. He had a sense that Jesus was who he said he was, but he needed to see it.
"Master, if its you, call me to come to you."
Once Jesus called him, he walked. As soon as he saw what was going on around him, instead of his Master, he began to sink.
Deep water: contains little to no light, intense pressure, and very cold temperatures. (webster dictionary)
Stepping out into deeper waters can be quiet intimidating to say the least. It is an act of total vulnerability and dependability. When we do that, we are letting go of the things we thought would keep us afloat or save us. And we are trusting in something, someONE larger than the ocean itself.
In 43 Days I will be going to Africa. A land that has been on my heart for seven years. A place that God told me seven years ago that I would go someday. And while my heart is overwhelmed with praise that God is so faithful, im also terrified.
How will I last 3 months on my own? How will I be without my car or even access to the internet? And I know that sounds like #firstworldproblems and I may seem spoiled, but I'm being truthful. The idea that i won't be able to hug my dad goodnight, have silly conversations with my mom or have my brothers around makes me want to cry. But as I heard those soft, yet powerful words, I understood what it meant to be a disciple of Christ. I understood why I'm called to carry my cross and follow Him.
The deeper I go, the more uncertainty will overwhelm me. However, the more I trust Him, the more my faith will grow. Faith is exercised when there's no other answer but Jesus. When there's no other explanation but Jesus himself. Yes, it is going to be crazy to be away from home for 3 months but I firmly believe that I will hear from God like never before. I will sense Him in every decision I make. I will cling to His word like never before as I face every struggle and joy possible.
Friends, what is God calling you to step unto faith in? Is it a relationship in your family that seems hopeless? Is it a big move that scares you? or maybe it's letting go of that guy or girl you know isn't going to be in your future?
Whatever it is, know that in that place of vulnerability there is nothing greater than holding onto the promise that he who has begun a work in you will carry it into completion. He will not leave you to fend for yourself. He will not leave you to drown or sink. He is calling you onto the deep waters so that you have nothing else to hold onto but Him. There you find complete joy, there you see that God is all that He says he is.
Thanks for reading! Pray for me! :)
Jess
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